257 Weeks: I really don't want to go back to the way I was before.

257 Weeks

You could be waiting for a day that won't come

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I really don't want to go back to the way I was before.

I'm really upset. No, really. Could I tell you why? Nope. Do I know how to fix it? Nope. Is this going to be useful at all for me. Nope.

I think I'm having my first panic attack in a year.

My vice-chest is tightening, my tear-tap is leaky and my concentration is shot behind the barn.

I never know what to do in this situation. I write, but it doesn't ever help. And I still don't know what does.

Labels: bad news bears, flawed

posted by Fucking Bingo @ 12:24 AM

2 Comments:

At 2:20 AM, Living Light said…

the joys of living... you are not alone! the best thing to do in a panic attack, by the way, is stop everything, and give yourself to it. let it attack you. don't fight it. watch it with curiosity. you will be amazed. watch the thoughts that race through your head. all fear. only fear. darkness is the absense of light. fear is no more real than darkness, but it would make you believe there is nothing real but itself. allow yourself the time to spin out of control. don't leave the room. make a cup of sweet tea before if you can, or have one just after, or when you want to stop it. but don't, whatever you do, run from it. it is like a wild animal, it will hunt and haunt you...
At 3:03 AM, OceanEyes said…

Life can be like falling down an escalator sometimes, I know. I had my first panic attack when I was in the shower,the hot feeling in your throat and chest like you are screaming as hard as you can but nothing comes out, and then suddenly everything is really loud and you cant stand up. Its okay, there are so many things that poke us with knives, you just have to decide which ones you can possibly block.