257 Weeks

You could be waiting for a day that won't come
Friday, July 31, 2009
Forgot about these gems!
So I introduced some peeps to "The Best of Craigslist" today, and they are hooked. So I went on a search and found my 2 favourite posts ever.

1 - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/min/733317143.html

2 - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/561877622.html

The first one reminds me of living in my old apartment at college and dovercourt. I was going to post the second on my friends FB wall, but when I read it over again I realized that the only reason why I find it so incredibly hilarious is because I'm a woman (and it has a lot of truth to it).

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 12:55 AM   0 comments

Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I'm permenantly black and blue.
I'm sort of a glutton for punishment. Not sure why, it's just my nature. No matter how much someone hurts me I am always willing to let them back in. Usually with the full knowledge that, once again, they will do something to injure my heart, pride, etc. I can't help but forgive people, we are humans and clichéd as it is we are flawed. All of us. I guess it is in hopes that some day when I need it, someone will forgive me.

Not likely, but it's a nice thought isn't it?

The truth is I give far more than I get. And I don't like admitting that. I'm much more of a doormat than I should be. Sometimes my mat says "trespassers will be shot", but that's only when the "welcome" side gets dirty. When it gets flipped to the bad side it can only stay that way for so long until the mat needs to be cleaned. Then it gets washed and all the horrid thoughts go down the drain with all the dirt. Sadly, no matter how many times it gets washed, the mat will still be stained with the bad memories in hopes to remind me of the past. But usually people just go ahead and walk across it without noticing.

I'd really rather be a wind chime or dream catcher.

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 4:39 PM   0 comments

Monday, July 27, 2009
Crisis: Averted
Looks like I avoided a three week-ish invite to my parents' place. I've said it before but I really do love my parents, they just forget I have my own life. I'd rather go see them on my own terms. I am sad that I'll miss the family reunion, but I am not all that heartbroken. I'm more heartbroken about not getting to see my best friends and my godson. It's been far too long since I saw them. Though, I could do without the male-inspired drama I constantly have to hear.

Just found out somethings about the guy I met at pride (and I somehow became a pride couple with). My friend is so glad him and I didn't actually hook up as apparently he is super obsessive when it comes to girls, verging on crazy. Phew, glad that and our little messages afterwards are over.

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 11:33 PM   0 comments

because I was too gone yesterday to do it...
tweet tweet tweet

serafinowicz: I wonder if bacteria masturbate.
radiomaru: man that bag of kittens is haunting me. what am I going to do with all those kittens #dream
rustyrockets: I'll need you to be excitable and loopy- occassional flashes of boobs- both male and female will be good for morale. X
Rich_Fulcher: I wonder if the federales will take sexual bribes. Does anyone have experience in this el departmente?
Boosh_Storm_USA: ah newyork like a wild horse with hooves made from buildings and tail like a long swishy building . we rode you about and lived x Julian
IAmJericho: I'm Canadian... Just give me a case of beer and I'll be fine...
garywgraham: #nicerfilmtitles Strawberries and Cream in Las Vegas
Me: Wanted a coffee but café is now a knife fighting academy. How unlucky for @darkabella I'm going to slice you and learn how to slice others!
darkabella: is now satisfied. thank you genitals :)
colinmeloy: This is genius. Make it a reality: http://www.thinkgeek.com/st...

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 5:21 PM   0 comments

Saturday, July 25, 2009
Drunkland Tales: Volume III
I can't be everything I want to be. My mother lied.

I'm seeing old faces and facing the new possibilities that come along. Hoping it helps pass the time and makes me stronger. but all I can think about is how i lack the potential to be beyond this version of me.About how i'd die for a talent. about how i want to write the way he writes his gentle heartbreak and how i want to draw the way she draws all life in simplicity and how i want to dance the way he dances with each muscle as its own man. and how i want to sing the way he sang to make me fall on my knees a thousand times over.

ive wasted so much time on the things about me that are broken that i didnt stop to find the things that actually work. so my working parts get thrown in the trash heap with the rest if the shattered bits.

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 4:58 AM   0 comments

Wednesday, July 22, 2009
high on life... and paint
I feel pretty wonky today. Sick when I got up this morning, after I was woken up out of bed in a surreal sort of way, and late for work (again), then i sat in the paint cupboard all day trying to clean it out and get reid of the bad stuff. Until today i had never encountered rotten paint. It smells like vomit, fyi. Oh, and it looks like it too. That is if your vomit was bright pink... like after eating a popsicle and the vomit somehow becomes totally the colour of that last thing you ate. Great visual huh? You will never eat another posicle again. Or maybe you will, but you won't do it if you're feeling remotely ill.
Had a nice girls night last night. And by girls I mean girl, as I only met with one other person. It was nice, waiter had a nice ass... I'd go there with her again sometime.

I really want to write more but I'm afraid if I waste my time here I won't have enough time to get ready and go to the Jurassic Park photoshoot... and I miss them all too much to not be there.
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 4:28 PM   0 comments

Monday, July 20, 2009
It Had To Be You
Today I survived an early morning encounter/meeting with the woman who broke my heart into many, many tiny fragments. She also happens to be the only woman I can trust to give me a straight answer when it comes to my writing. Therefore, I called on her for her editorial skills.

Somehow I have come out the other end unscathed. Thankfully she brought up some big changes that needed to happen in my script, that clearly I never thought through. but more importantly we talked. Just talked. About life and friends and old friends and guys and work and the summer and anything that popped into our heads. It was nice. And I was so surprised to know it was still so easy.

We never spoke of the hurt. It is much better that way. I already know what she's really thinking when we talk about it, I don't need re-assurance.

What I do need is a plan... which I sort of have. She suggested I get people together to read it, just some friends. Apparently my writing is based on interaction a lot of/most of the time. So I have to figure out a time/date/place then I'm just going to make some sort of open-ish FB event for my friends to come out and help read it! I actually don't need that many readers, but hopefully some will come out and get to be audience members too. Either way it'll be nice to get some feedback.
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 5:03 PM   0 comments

Peachy Tea'n
It's only just turned into Monday and I already want it to be over. But I can't sleep. So this day will last forever. Not to mention I will spend the day counting down until I have to sit with her and talk about my script and only half pay attention to her cutting it up because the other half of me will have a hard time focusing because it's been so long since it's been one on one and I'll need one whole half of my brain to keep from talking all of our shit out.

Wow, that was quite the run-on sentence.

I no longer remember why I came here.
I also no longer remember why I stopped writing and why I can't start again.
And I don't know when my sleep got so fucked but it is.

I feel drunk and high and messed up but I'm none of that. Unless my tea was secretly spiked by the gods of fucking with my life.

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 2:52 AM   0 comments

Sunday, July 19, 2009
As you know Twitter has taken over my life
So I thought, hey, why not post some of my fav tweets of the week. many are my own but some are others... lets see what do we have here:

Me: @lisafender Real life sucks...let's have rehearsal!
Me: Carrie Bradshaw's nipples make me very uncomfortable.
Rich_Fulcher: i haven't have coffee yet. i could literally marry a puma right now.
yelling_bird: IT'S NOT RAPE IF IT'S A BRICK WALL AND YOU'RE HIGH ON PCP
hani87: LOL http://tinyurl.com/mjvwwe I guess I'm coming err I mean going...
rustyrockets: I'm in a place called Rochester. All this nature is making me randy, if I was a bear I wouldn't sh*t in the woods I'd fiddle with my parts.
secondpower: If we evolved from monkeys, why then, do we STILL have MONKEYS??!! :)
tobiasampersand: ...And You May Recognize Us by the Trail of Muddy Footprints. Sorry About That! We'll Clean it Up. #coolbandsmadeuncool
BigBoyler: The overground makes the tube seem like a dystopic Iranian drug den. And not a good drug den. A really rapey one, with poos.
drnelk: Snow White and her diverse group of friends #nicerfilmtitles

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 9:02 PM   0 comments

Note to self: never let it get this bad ever again
She said: Take them with a lot of food. They're hard on your stomach.
I thought: Heard that one before, then I expect the worse and it's nothing.
Now I think: Oh shit, she was not kidding. It's literally painful. There's something clawing it's way out of my stomach and it wants out either by making me puke or by pulling itself out through my belly button.

She said: They may make all food taste bad, but it's nothing to worry about.
I thought: Nothing to worry about? Seriously. This sounds disgusting.
Now I think: All food was an understatement. Everything tastes bad. Food, water, toothpaste, my own saliva...

She said: Be aware that they will make you dizzy. So no operating heavy machinery.
I thought: Heavy machinery? I think I'll be okay. I'll be able to use the radial arm saw and climb the scaffolding without a problem.
Now I think: Will I even be able to walk to work tomorrow? Certainly i won't be biking. I'm having a hard time with typing, let alone walking.

She said: There is zero tolerance for alcohol with this. Zero.
I thought: Whatever, I bet a glass of wine won't hurt at all.
Now I think: I'm not even going to chance it.

She said: Have a great day.
I thought: Sure, whatever.
Now I think: Fuck you, Nadia, fuck you for being an idiot. Fuck you for letting it get so bad. Fuck you for having to to deal with this. Fuck you for never admitting when things go wrong. Fuck you for fucking yourself up.

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 5:05 PM   0 comments

Saturday, July 18, 2009
the best
Had a pretty good night. Wish I could've drunkenly blogged about it but I was beyond exhausted. It was sort of emotional roller coaster-y. But not in a bad way. Is that even possible?

Side note: NME radio for the fucking win!

And back. Got rid of clothes I hate, gained clothes (and shoes) I love. Had good wines. Had good times. Slept in a normal sized bed with ceiling that didn't look like it was going to crush me momentarily (not like my freakish crib-like bed in my wee hobbit hole).Also, saw Lisa who makes my life.

And this morning? That can all be summed up by this one picture:



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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 2:51 PM   1 comments

Friday, July 17, 2009
Probably said it before, but i will say it again for good measure:
James Remar circa The Warriors is sex incarnate.

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 3:00 PM   0 comments

Drunkland Tales: Volume II
What's this? Posting again? This is 3 times in one day. One day equals the time I am awake.
Um, so, yeah, Dan Aykroyd + me + missing the peeps I love x memory tunes = craziness. For shiz, yo.

I feel as if "yo" has really fallen out of my vocab lately. That is so depressing. I started it for hilarities sake then it became a part of me. Then people didn't get it so I stopped. I need to bring that shit back... yo.

Normally this is the point when I would drone on endlessly about some subject nobody cares about, but the worst part is all you get is droning tonight. I don't even have a subject. Unless I am to talk about my fish. And though I love them, they are boring as fuck. Hot damn, look at the swears just pouring out tonight!

Cuz I'm boring, would you like to read a small blog entry-cum-monologue I wrote a while ago? Of course you do! It sucks a bit but deal with it. When you are given rights to edit this then go ahead and delete at will... otherwise suck it up and take it like a man!

So this one, here. That's me. And that one, over there. That's you.
Opposite sides of the room, you see. Typical for me. Maybe not for you but for me.
And our ignorance is perfectly normal for a while. Even nice. There's plenty of people between us and it doesn't matter because at that moment they are far more interesting and attractive than you or I. Then again, they are all more gay than either of us too. It happens sometimes.
I never forced you to me. And to be fair you never forced anything either. It just happened. You just happened. The whole thing just happened.
So we walk to the beat, slowly and deliberately. It's funny that we speak the same way too. Funnier still that not a lie was passed between us. That always feels nice when it happens.
And do you know, I may not have bothered getting close if you had not said those things? Those smooth teasing words that were much less like the lines I've heard before.
And the smirk? Well, that might have killed me. Right then and there. It's clear that nothing can be hidden from you. You already know my intentions.
And in one swift motion, pushed up against each other. Our bodies matching rhythms, cheek to cheek, wondering who would lay the first kiss and where would it all go. My face then pressed up against your shirtless chest, and I think about other dances with other men and I can't think of one that is better in any way. I think this may be the sexiest night I have ever been a part of without getting out of control.
Then your hand slowly trails my arm to my hand and you intertwine your fingers with mine. And I have no thoughts. No thoughts at all. I can't hear the music or see the people. Hell, I can't even see the rest of you. Just our hands. And fingers. A collided hot mess.
I snapped myself back to the moment. To you. To your chest. To your grin.
How little I know you and how much I want you are parallel now. And that's a little scary.
So I won't make a move for the lips. But you won't either.
So our lips are still thirsting.

There. It's done. The pain is all over. You've come out the other side a better man.

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 2:00 AM   0 comments

Thursday, July 16, 2009
Gah, I suck!
Just had the most hilarious of conversations and what do I do? Delete it.
*channeling Napolean Dynamite* Idiot!

Whatev's I still got wine to drink. And dirty dirty slash to read. And awesome music to listen to. And many hours til I have to go to work.

Why don't people live near me? I need hang outs right now. I need someone to come over and chill... damn this really should be a drunkland blog... let's have a few more and see what ensues...
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 11:31 PM   0 comments

sadface, yo
I miss JP.
I miss the whole cast.
I miss Matt.
I miss Buddy.
I miss when douche-friend wasn't a douche.
I miss when Brynn didn't suck.
I miss living downtown.
I miss living near people.
I miss cheap rent.
I miss flirting.
I miss being healthy.
I miss having time to myself.
I miss money.
I miss when I loved everyone at my job.
I miss when I wasn't an old man.
I miss non-complicated friendships.
I miss calling someone, anyone, whenever I wanted just to chill.
I miss enjoying the free things in life.
I miss having a social life.
I miss having a life.
I miss the scents that connect to my memory.
I miss dancing.
I miss drinking (or at least I will).
I miss fingers intertwining, eyes locking, hips moving, lips shaking.
I miss writing.
I miss being able to hold my attention long enough to write a real goddamn post.
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 2:57 PM   0 comments

Monday, July 13, 2009
For the record
Coldstone ice cream is amazing!
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 3:00 AM   0 comments

Sunday, July 12, 2009
some planning would be nice
I love my parents.
Please don't get me wrong here, I love them.
But every time they come to visit, I want to kill them.
Slowly.
You see, my family only ever comes to visit me at the worst possible times. Usually it's when I'm at my busiest. Then my mother, being the incredibly nosey person she is always asks question after question. Now, if I were to leave her alone in my house do you know what she'd do? She'd go through everything. Scratch that, she does go through everything. She goes through all my drawers, closets, cupboards, basically any where that anything can be hidden from the public eye.
And then?
More questions! And re-arranging! And throwing out my things!
Now, I remember when I was a young child. And from that I just so happen to remember there were several places in the home that I was not aloud to go in. Several/most of which were in my parents room. What i don't understand is why that did not travel to me. There are still things that are off limits in my parents home, so why the hell can't she stay out of my things?
I feel like a teenager hiding pot or booze in their room and the parents knows this and is trying to find it. Except the pot and booze are my socks and the parent has no idea what they are looking for.
This visit was extra special fun this time around because my parents brought my cousin. Now, I also love my cousin very much, but he has autism and adhd so he's difficult to track.
That also means he's gonna fuck around with my playstation (oh, yeah, it's a ps1), aand download shit i don't want/need on my comp.
Which he did.
Because of the disorders he has he also is very... odd. He always has to be touching you and right in your face when he speaks to you. This I've gotten over. But he also says the strangest things.
Which is how my quote of the week came around. As he's leaving he says to me: "Don't sleep with any men... unless they are extremely good looking... like me."
I don't think there is any other way I can end this post.

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 7:29 PM   0 comments

Saturday, July 11, 2009
I love convos when I don't wanna talk
Facebook is often the home of conversations that I just change to make me laugh.

Nic
can i be your freak <3333

Nad
wouldn't you rather be my disease?

Nic
i just want to be yours le sigh

Nad
Tish! That's French!
LOL

Nic
LMAO
i'm sooo sore.

Nad
why?

Nic
from all our rough love making of course!

Nad
wow, i dont even remember it... did you cover me with numbing gel again?

Nic
lol that's the way you like it

Nad
apparently so.

Nic
lmao
no but serious business.
i have an ulcer. :(:(

Nad
all kinds of sad face :(:(
wanna borrow my numbing gel?
i know its for sex but ulcers are kinda like sex, right?

Nic
yes actually thanks.
thats what the doctor said anyway.

Nad
the sex part or the numbing gel
cuz the numbing gel is a joke like the sex so i have neither

Nic
lol i know me too.
but the pepsinigen inhibitors aren't helping one bit. so i don't think it's an ulcer

Nad
its your love for me trying to escape from your body. youve gotta keep that shit under control

Nic
lmao
no no, it must burst forth in some sort of horrible bloody, slimey alien style rupture!!
or at least that's what the amount of pain is indicating it will do.

Nad
itll look and sound like that dancing frog, that goes "hello my baby, hello my darling, hello my ragtime gal..."

Nic
MICHIGAN J. FROG!
sorry about the delay someone came into the fun home

Nad
LOL
is that it's name michigan j frog?

Nic
yes!
ugh that lady started crying on me
so i pawned her off on one of the other directors

Nad
no crying in the FUN HOME it's called a FUN home for a reason!
oh wait....

Nic
lmao.

Nad
funERAL
lets call it the Fun Earl Home

Nic
lmao

Nad
or fun Earl's party palace

Nic
hey
if i ever get my own place
i'll name it the Fun Earl Funeral Home

Nad
LOL

Nic
uggh
i feel like i'm going to puke

Nad
puke isnt as good lube as tears, so just let me know when you atart crying and we can havew some fun

Nic
lmao
i think i need to get my gall bladder out

Nad

for serious?

Nic
fer serious.
like the doc was like its ether an ulcer or gallstones. but ulcers ar emore common so i just give you the meds without doing an sort of test at all!
and teh meds. are not helping
plus the pain TOTALLY isn't in my stomach

Nic wants house to diagnose me then cut me open! is that kinky? or just weird?

Nic
yeah i don't know
my gall bladder is just a suspicious character all around

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 2:26 PM   0 comments

Drunkland Tales: Volume I
Let's start this off straight: I don't mind being single. I actually quite enjoy it at times. You can do things that, as a couple, would never happen. And lots of inward reflection time without the criticisms you know are true but don't wanna hear.
That being said, here it is.
Why is it that only the most vile and horrid of women have boyfriends? Women who treat their man like shit, generally abusing the whole being a couple situation, always manage to have a string of men at their disposal. And I don't just mean the hot bitches; butt-ugly-train wreck-looking-bitches, of whom I keep seeing with decent looking guys, are always abusing the girlfriend status too.
Then there's me. Hi. Not just me, there are others. A few that I even know. We are, by all intents and purposes of this, considered normal. Normal isn't a bad thing, it means we don't hate the men we say we love. I consider that normal, to actually love who you say you love. So, why don't I and several of the loveliest women I know have boyfriends?
This is by no means an open invitation shout out to nice guys to come find me, I would just like to see one nice girl get the guy in the end.

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 5:10 AM   0 comments

Friday, July 10, 2009
My life is such a mess!
No, really. I'm a mess right now.
Just look at this blog! There are so many links on the side that I either A) don't use or B) don't exist anymore. It's just craziness. Not to mention that lately all my LJ posts are private posts therefore a total of maybe 4 people can read them.
My apartment too, that's pretty nasty. But what am i doing? Well, writing this. Yeah. I'm an idiot.

Hmm, news news news.... point form?
-My plays went smashingly this year, both of them.
-The plays that I was in that weren't mine went okay... but I spoke french on stage for the first time and nobody knew I was actually anglophone. Score one for the lie!
-Jurassic Park is going absolutely amazing. I love each and everyone involved.
-Bullshit and Friendships have not collided in sometime, which is nice.
-Ya kiss one boy and now you're stuck with naughty texts for life. Is there a cream to get rid of him?
-First apartment all alone. Love it and hate it. Love for the alone, hate for the alone with spiders.
-I haven't worked in forever but still have a job. Go figure.
-I'm running out of money. Fast.
-I'm one lazy mofo as of late.
-EDGE AND VICKIE ARE OVER!!! (god, i'm such a fucking nerd)
-2 tix for wrestling shows in September, neither of which will feature Edge as he's out with an injury. So I just wasted a lot of money.
-I spend way too much time on Twitter.
-I don't feel like finishing this...

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posted by Fucking Bingo @ 3:47 PM   0 comments

Thursday, July 09, 2009
What the cock is that about?
It's been almost a year since I last posted here. I know, weird huh? I write in my LJ much more so I pretty much stopped with this one. I'm really not sure why though. I like this one. With LJ I know there is always someone watching which freaks me out a little, I like the unknown much better. I'm not a big fan of having someone constantly over your shoulder.
I really have to stop being an idiot. I know for a fact that the more I write in blogs the more likely I am to keep being creative. Which i am not as of lately.
Oh! Oh! Oh! LIES!
I am being slightly creative... I've just started a comic with a friend of mine and we have the very first one done. Now if only I had enough skillz to put this whole thing internet-wise. I'm thinking I might just post the first episode. just to see what people think. But I'm not sure.
Guess why I've decided to come back here right now?
Guess!
Go on now.
Fine, I'll just tell you, you lazy bastard. i got ditched. I was supposed to go out with a "friend" (and boy, do i use that term loosely) today, yet, as per usual I havent heard from him. I think I might go on with out him as he clearly doesn't care. He's either asleep or ignoring my texts and calls.
Fuck this noise. I'm out.
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 11:48 AM   0 comments

 
 

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Name: Fucking Bingo
Home: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
About Me: You could be waiting for a day that won't come. And you could be so much more than you've become. And I have found my feet, 257 weeks. But you could be waiting for a day that won't come.
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