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You could be waiting for a day that won't come
| Saturday, July 22, 2006 |
| And I'm Awake Because...? |
After hitting my alarm off a dozen or so times, I finally dragged myself out of bed just after noon. During the half hour process of leaving my bed, I thought "Why bother? I'll just end up going in to work only to find out that yet again my boss has passive-aggressively shown her hatred of me via the schedule or paycheck". Last week it was $20 off because supposedly one of the audits was off by that amount. I know this to be complete an utter bullshit, but if I fight it, I get fired, and now is not the time to be looking for a job in this hole of a town. Of course, my premonition was correct: the schedule is nicely set out for everyone but me. According to the boss (I use that term quite loosely here), everyone gets one weekend off a month. The fine print says "except for Nadia". She also says "everyone gets 2 days in a row off". It seems she has just copied and pasted the last exception. Not having 2 days in a row off isn't a big problem for me, if I'm working more hours, but I'm not. She has failed to keep any of the promises she made to me when I was re-hired, save being re-hired.
My days would be better spent if I slept them away until it is time to pack up and leave for school.
I had a lovely chat with my family earlier this week, and by chat I mean they told me what a terrible person I am as I grinned and said, "I'm never coming back. You know this right? This is the last time I come back here." These are all too frequent chats, where in everyone decides they don't enjoy me or my presence, and for the life of me I can not figure out why they come about. It's everyday like this that I wonder why I woke up. Or why I left Toronto. I have never been appreciated for the things I do and have been forced to take all emotional trauma with a smile. And now, it's like watching them in their glass bowl. They will stay in their little world where they never see their own faults, and only acknowledge me as a distorted image. For as long as they live, my family will never know me. They haven't really tried, so I doubt the interest is there, or ever was.
I don't know what brought this on. Or why I feel sick. What I do know is that I'm ready for it to be the end of August now. I'm ready to go back to Toronto. Permanently.
sidenote: sorry about the word verification, but some asshat ridiculously spammed me.
martini kisses
"Hold me closer tiny dancer." |
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 6:06 PM  |
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| 5 Comments: |
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thats all too many, my dear.
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true. i have some questions tho...
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I would likie the record to reflect the following: prrow.
I don't know what it means but I've been saying it for like a week.
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But, sir, we are already aware that I can't spell.
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Name: Fucking Bingo
Home: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
About Me: You could be waiting for a day that won't come. And you could be so much more than you've become. And I have found my feet, 257 weeks. But you could be waiting for a day that won't come.
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thats all too many, my dear.