257 Weeks

You could be waiting for a day that won't come
Thursday, June 01, 2006
2 In 1 Week, I'm Just So Tired
Well, she's gone.

My grandmaman passed away this morning. No one woke me up to tell me, but there's not like there was anything I could do. She was my last grandparent. But really that doesn't matter; the fact that she's gone, that's what matters. She was the reason I wanted to learn french, so basically the only reason why I went to Glendon in the forst place. I just feel like... what's the point now? I guess I could speak in frech with other members of my family, but they speak english too, so I know I won't try. I'm considering not going to the For The Mathematics concert tonight, or to the Red Skies Over Paradise premiere tomorrow night. But really, what else is there for me to do? Sit and mope? My mother has already filled the hole with some temporary cleaning, my dad with anything he can find, my brother with work, but I'm off for the next 2 days. I don't have a prupose. I really shouldn't complain, afterall, I loved her, but she was my father's mother, he must be feeling worse than I.

I visited her in the hospital a few days ago. She told me I was a good girl and to keep being good, then held my hand as she tried to sleep. It's a pretty basic request. However, I don't think she's right. Don't ask me why, I just think she was saying something nice so I'd remember it, whether it was true or not. I still love her, so I appreciate it.

I think the hardest part is not loosing her, we all saw it coming, it's loosing her and my uncle all within a week. I it affects me then it must be doing quite a number on my poor aunt.

I can't type anymore. I don't want to think about this.

martini kisses
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 5:07 PM  
3 Comments:
  • At 11:33 AM, Blogger Fella said…

    I'm so sorry, Nadia.

     
  • At 7:09 PM, Blogger Kick'N Boxes said…

    Nadia, I am so sorry. I know you don't want to talk or think about it, but even if you want someone on the other end of the line, just to sit in silence, I'm there. I love you babe.

     
  • At 11:19 PM, Blogger Fucking Bingo said…

    the only thing i need is for someone to be here to hug me, possibly hold my hand during the funeral and wake, but I don't have that. the ones that care are too far, and the ones who are here don't care.

     
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Name: Fucking Bingo
Home: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
About Me: You could be waiting for a day that won't come. And you could be so much more than you've become. And I have found my feet, 257 weeks. But you could be waiting for a day that won't come.
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