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You could be waiting for a day that won't come
| Tuesday, April 03, 2007 |
| I've got your voice on tape |
I wish I knew what was going on. I'm kind of lost in my own mind and self-inflicted problems.
Sorry, I just feel like writing. I have this strong urge to just write and write and write some more. I don't have a topic, hell, I don't even have a point.
I have all these fabulous plans for next year and this summer but when it all comes down to it I think I'm going to be very lonely. But, really, how is that different from this year? I mean why else do I write a play about a lonely awkward person. Not because it's about my friend, no, it in fact was not modeled after who everyone thinks it is. He is just my interpretation of lonliness that got lucky.
I feel like emptying myself through words. It sounds stupid but I know I'll feel refreshed. I guess it's time to start up the paper journal again. The personal one. The pathetic one.
I hope I can find something this summer to push away these feelings. Or someone. Even if it was just an unconditional summer friend. Just for the summer. I hate admitting it, but I'm jealous of everyone else. I'm jealous that everyone seeks out my friends, I seek out my friends, but how come I am not sought after? Everyone has people without worry. I just don't feel connected to anyone. But when I do feel connected, the problem is they don't want to be or try not to be connected to me. I feel when people push me away, but if they enjoy my company why do they push away?
I hate that I am not worth anyones time.
Time to switch to paper. This is too much. |
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 10:05 PM  |
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| 1 Comments: |
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Hey,
I know I have a horrible inability to articulate myself online, so I'll try and keep this simple.
I'm going to be in the city all summer, I'm not going anywhere. So if you ever need someone to hang out with, or talk to, just say the word or give me a call or whatever and I'll be there.
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Name: Fucking Bingo
Home: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
About Me: You could be waiting for a day that won't come. And you could be so much more than you've become. And I have found my feet, 257 weeks. But you could be waiting for a day that won't come.
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Hey,
I know I have a horrible inability to articulate myself online, so I'll try and keep this simple.
I'm going to be in the city all summer, I'm not going anywhere. So if you ever need someone to hang out with, or talk to, just say the word or give me a call or whatever and I'll be there.