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You could be waiting for a day that won't come
| Saturday, April 22, 2006 |
| The Doctor Is In |
My life before Glendon consisted a lot of me being the resident psychologist: I was the most trustworthy, I knew everyone, I saw all sides to the problems and I was always there. For a few years now I've been isolated, which drives me nuts but has been purposeful. It's not that I wasn't trusted anymore, it was that I didn't trust. Does that make sense?
Now, once again, I am playing the therapist, except is a new setting, with new people, and new knowledge. But this time it's different. I can feel it. Before when advice was given or attempts to patch up relationships people either abused the given information or fucked things up by ignoring it. On many occasions, in fact, my advice would be take, things worked out, but the next day they would forget everything I told them. At the end of it all they would come to me and say "You were right." Everytime I found out they fucked up I felt angry that I was of value yet wasted, but at the same time I smiled inside knowing I will always be smarter than them. I stand behind that smug thought, because essentially I was right.
Here things are different. The people here want to change themselves, they want someone to talk to, they want to be free of judgements. I believe I can be there for them. How do I know they are different? With something so simple: appreciation. I've recently gotten word that I've been discussed, but not in a bad way at all. Knowing that others trust me enough to say the things they say, or act the way they do is one thing, but to know someone says you're an honestly good person who they trust (eventhough they haven't known you long), that feels fantastic. And everyone needs a little fantastic in their lives.
To anyone who thinks this way: I won't let you down, and though you've heard that before know that I am different. I'm not asking anyone to trust me with no background or reason to, but know that when you're in need. no matter what goes on, I'm there.
Martini Kisses |
posted by Fucking Bingo @ 1:57 PM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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Thanks, you really have provided a great deal of help lately. I would be far worse off if you werent around
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lou: and that's why you have so many dealers, sir!
joe: i'm glad I helped.
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Name: Fucking Bingo
Home: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
About Me: You could be waiting for a day that won't come. And you could be so much more than you've become. And I have found my feet, 257 weeks. But you could be waiting for a day that won't come.
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Thanks, you really have provided a great deal of help lately. I would be far worse off if you werent around